Every school leader has said it.

"I’m fine."

It’s the automatic response—to staff, to district officials, even to yourself. But behind closed doors?

You’re exhausted. The emails, the staff conflicts, the constant crises… it never stops. And no matter how much you push through, the weight never lifts.

Here’s the truth no one wants to admit: You didn’t take this job just to survive it.

But that’s what’s happening. Leaders aren’t just leaving the profession. Many are still in it… but emotionally checked out.

The Cost of Emotionally Unaware Leadership

In my work coaching school leaders, I see it all the time:

• A principal who “keeps emotions in check” but whose staff avoids them because honesty doesn’t feel safe.
• A superintendent handling crisis after crisis without realizing their own stress is clouding their judgment.
• A leader who preaches SEL for students but hasn’t addressed their own emotional exhaustion.

This isn’t about self-care slogans or quick fixes. It’s about recognizing that how you show up emotionally shapes everything—from staff retention to student outcomes.

Burnout Isn’t Inevitable… But Emotional Blind Spots Make It Certain

One in four principals leaves the job every year.

The pressures are real. Staffing shortages, political tensions, the emotional toll of leading a school. But some leaders don’t just endure it. They thrive.

Why? Because they understand something most don’t: Emotional intelligence is not a luxury—it’s a leadership requirement.

Leaders with strong EI:

• Make better decisions under pressure.
• Create school environments where teachers feel valued and want to stay.
• Manage stress without passing it down the chain.

Last year, I wrote about the loneliness of school leadership. But loneliness is just a symptom. The real problem? Leaders aren’t given the tools to handle the emotional toll of their work.

At STAR Factor, we offer school leaders the tools to be able to lead with confidence!

We Train Leaders to Be Strategic—But What About Emotionally Intelligent?

School leaders spend years learning instructional leadership, crisis management, and school operations.

But what about the emotional side of leadership?

That’s where Star Factor Coaching comes in. We help school leaders:

• Recognize emotional blind spots before they impact decision-making.
• Build resilience so they don’t burn out.
• Develop practical EI strategies to lead with clarity and confidence.

Because leaders set the emotional climate of a school. If you’re not actively shaping that climate, it’s shaping you.

The Work Starts Here

So ask yourself:

• Are you leading with emotional intelligence—or just pushing through?
• Is your school culture thriving—or barely holding on?
• Are you investing in your own well-being as much as you invest in others’?

If your answer isn’t clear, it’s time to rethink how you lead.

Start with Star Factor Coaching and read Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders—because great leadership starts with self-awareness.